I remember

I remember my childhood and the closeness of nature and animals. The inspiration to create something with what was at hand. A peaceful solitude. But at the same time I was afraid of the world outside.

I remember going to school, my constant and patient efforts, my top results. The hesitation. What do I want now? Where will this take me?

I remember my years of drive and pace, my career as an energetic economist and executive.

I remember my longing to take a step back into nature...

I remember my years as a farmer and mother of young children. Family and work were intertwined endlessly in daily life. I remember it as if it were yesterday. Only 20 years have passed since then.

I remember my difficult days when Mb Bechterew's disease kept me trapped in pain, and the longing for a natural and uncomplicated solution that led me into the spiritual and alternative realm.

I remember the elation of awakening that led me to leave safety behind and plunge into new relationships and foreign cultures.

I remember my heart breaking into a thousand pieces. Each time only to grow stronger and stronger.

I remember the moment I realized that everything I had learned and adapted to was built on lies. Generations of lies. Lies that were so deeply woven into our consciousness that they had become truths.

I remember. But none of that is is the whole of me, here and now.

My memories are only my own unique perspective of the path I have traveled. In each moment I have chosen, and still choose, what I believe I am.